As a former competitive debater and a veteran of many, many Internet debates, I want to share some of my favorite clever comebacks against transphobic talking points. These are just suggestions, of course; feel free to rephrase them in your own words.
They say: “What is a woman?”
Best response: Give a trans woman that makeup you bought and never used. Teach her how to use it if she doesn’t know. Tell her she looks beautiful. Mean it.
They say: “Aren’t you just reinforcing gender stereotypes?”
Best response: Buy gender-affirming clothing and hygiene products for trans people in need via the Transhealth wish list. (Or you can send them items directly, but ask first, they have limited storage space.)
They say: “Why are you letting children make irreversible decisions that they’ll regret later?”
Best response: Send a message of hope and affirmation to trans youth via the Southern Equality Project.
They say: “God made you to be a man/woman.”
Best response: Participate in an online or in-person support group hosted by Keshet (Jewish) or MASGD (Muslim) or Transmission Ministry Collective (Christian) or IQBC (Buddhist).
They say: “LGB people will lose all the progress they made if they don’t drop the T.”
Best response: Organize a day in the park or a movie night with your gay, bi, trans, and otherwise queer friends. Bring snacks.
They say: “There’s only two genders. It’s science.”
Best response: Enroll in the PRIDE study, the first long-term national health study of LGBTQIA+ people. It’s produced a huge amount of science supporting LGBTQIA+ health, and guidelines for healthcare providers to better care for us. They take privacy seriously and have a Certificate of Confidentiality and an organizational commitment to shield their data from legal demands, including from the federal government.
They say: “You’re mentally ill.”
Best response: “If you ever need to talk about serious stuff or just vent, I’m here and I’ll listen and I won’t judge,” to a trans friend who’s not quite close enough to know if that’s something they could ask of you.
They say: “This new social media trend has gotten out of hand.”
Best response: Browse the Digital Transgender Archive and educate yourself about the long and rich history of gender diversity.
They say: “Thank God Trump is finally doing something about this madness.”
Best response: Get into local politics. I mean yeah, sure, call your reps if there’s a chance in hell of them listening, but the places you really can make yourself heard are the town hall, the school board session, the city council meeting. Here’s some important advice on how to more effectively advocate for trans people in these settings.
They say: “It’s not surgery, it’s mutilation.”
Best response: “Do you need a ride home from the hospital? I can come check on you and bring you meals while you’re recovering,” to a trans person planning surgery.
They say: “I hate trans people.”
Best response: “I respect and support trans people.” Not to them. To everyone else. To your coworkers and your classmates and your neighbors and your friends and your Internet friends and anyone you can safely say it to.
They say: “You’re ruining your body.”
Best response: Log off for the night, eat, drink, stretch, read a chapter you love in a book you love, and go to bed on time for once. Caring for the community includes caring for yourself.

you say: hey cliff this post sure sounds all wise and noble but I caught you yelling “well it’s not my problem you go poopie in your pants if everyone on earth doesn’t perform pink and blue at your fucking pleasure, poopiepants” at some rando republican on another site like twenty minutes ago
my response: personal growth is a process