All these things that I have done

Well actually, yes, it is that bad. From most parents' point of view the rewards are commensurately high though - I habitually compare it with heroin addiction in terms of the quality of happiness produced and the total f###ing up of your previous life.
But tinyjo has an excellent point; it's much easier to quit heroin than parenthood if you decide the tradeoff doesn't suit you - I guess it comes down to how attached you are to your existing life.