Swings and roundabouts

[tinyjo]

I really don't understand myself these days. I used to feel really in control but I've been very mood swingy this last year. I had a perfect day on Saturday with Alex. It was lovely and I was so happy. Then there was the Caption meet and that was pretty fun and quite positive too. So I got home on Sunday, still in a good mood, ate dinner, watched a couple of DVDs, went to bed, and suddenly I'm feeling low again. Partly it was just lying there listening to the election results and how many people voted for parties like the BNP and UKIP. Monday morning I was still feeling low but by the evening I'd perked up massively again and today I'm fine, although my brain has ground to an inexorable halt.

I wonder if can still be getting PMT even though I'm not getting any P, so to speak. Perhaps I should try to chart this a bit and see if there's a pattern (don't worry, I'm not going to start charting it here for you to thrill to :) ). Any other ideas?

And that reminds me that I wanted to tell everyone again that Alex is the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world. As I dithered about what to buy for dinner on Saturday, he offered to take me out and afterwards we took a bottle of wine and a cup of tea into the park and climbed trees and talked. It was gorgeous and he's utterly fab. Maybe it's like a boom and bust thing? The dizzying highs might certainly mean that I notice the troughs more.

Comments

[vinaigrettegirl.livejournal.com]

Very normal reaction to bereavement. At varying levels of consciousness you are renegotiating your place: in the world, in your family, in your mind, in your life's trajectory. (Your grandmother's death puts you in a different context: you are still her granddaughter but she isn't here to anchor you in that role; and as the oldest generation in our lives passes on we too move up in age-and-stage.)

Expect it and ride it out.

As for UKIP, they aren't the same, at all, as the BNP. I am essentially in favour of a fairly unified Europe but my own experience with, and reading about, the economics of Europe makes me wholly sceptical about Europe in its proposed constitutional form: it's an unholy and undemocratic mess. Over 70% of the legislation - all of it proposed by and designed by unelected civil servants in the form of the Commission - is passed unread by the Parliament (according to the stuff I was taught in law school about European Law). I wouldn't vote UKIP but they aren't evil in the way the BNP is.

Anyway, no need to be depressed. A healthy democracy listens to its dissident voices and tries to remediate their valid complaints and redefine the invalid ones - there is a "yes" behind every "no".