Now, I don't believe in making promises that I don't know if I can keep.
Well, you can always write your own vows.
In some ways, marriage encourages you not to think about how things would be split if you split up for example, because you assume that it's all taken care of. In a co-hab situation, you have to be explicit about that sort of thing, which I think is healthier and safer - assumptions are often dangerous.
This seems to me to come down to the difference between what marriage should be and what it is. I broadly agree with M(r|s) Anon that when undertaken with thought, marriage should provide that sort of framework and evidence of thinking things through, but I don't have enough experience of marriages breaking up (as opposed to long-term couples breaking up) to say whether or not it is that way.
I do know that I'd like to get married one day; you're right, I shouldn't have to share that sort of promise with the church, state, or indeed anyone...but I'm fairly certain that I'm going to want to.
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chiming
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Date: April 23rd, 2003 07:58 am (UTC)From:Now, I don't believe in making promises that I don't know if I can keep.
Well, you can always write your own vows.
In some ways, marriage encourages you not to think about how things would be split if you split up for example, because you assume that it's all taken care of. In a co-hab situation, you have to be explicit about that sort of thing, which I think is healthier and safer - assumptions are often dangerous.
This seems to me to come down to the difference between what marriage should be and what it is. I broadly agree with M(r|s) Anon that when undertaken with thought, marriage should provide that sort of framework and evidence of thinking things through, but I don't have enough experience of marriages breaking up (as opposed to long-term couples breaking up) to say whether or not it is that way.
I do know that I'd like to get married one day; you're right, I shouldn't have to share that sort of promise with the church, state, or indeed anyone...but I'm fairly certain that I'm going to want to.