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I feel like this journal is coming to reflect me less because I always write it at work. In the evenings, I have fun, I'm happy, perky, excited. When I'm at work I find it difficult to remember anything except how much I don't want to be there. Even going out for a walk at lunchtime lifts my spirits. So I've found myself not really writing, particularly in the last week because all I can think of to write about is how depressed I am to be here. And really, that's silly. It's not that bad here. I do have to get up early and the work I did on the project I was on turned out to be less useful than I thought. But that's not the end of the world. I guess it's just that I'm bored. The rest of the stuff I have to do is all stuff that, in a lot of ways, I've done before. So I take breaks and sit around reading novels on my screen like I really shouldn't and that makes me feel guilty and nervous. All the rest of the team are really busy but I don't know how to work with POSTS (it's written in COBOL) and no-one has time to get me started so I end up not being able to help really. I need a job where I can actually do something which helps, not just peripheral stuff.
Hmm. That started out saying that I should try to be less obsessed with my work problems I think! So here's something I was thinking about last night. I love my house. It's great. It's both secluded and near to everything (I managed to sleep with my window open last night which I haven't been able to do for 2 years). It's clean and bright. It's got plenty of space. It's got a bit of garden for me to play with. And it's got little niggles that I can fix, like the colour of the bedroom til recently or that big conifer in the garden (OK, I can't really fix that now, but I could. I know what's needed) so I can fiddle about and feel really pleased with myself when I manage to fix them. I think I'm going to have a great summer there.
Hmm. That started out saying that I should try to be less obsessed with my work problems I think! So here's something I was thinking about last night. I love my house. It's great. It's both secluded and near to everything (I managed to sleep with my window open last night which I haven't been able to do for 2 years). It's clean and bright. It's got plenty of space. It's got a bit of garden for me to play with. And it's got little niggles that I can fix, like the colour of the bedroom til recently or that big conifer in the garden (OK, I can't really fix that now, but I could. I know what's needed) so I can fiddle about and feel really pleased with myself when I manage to fix them. I think I'm going to have a great summer there.
