Visiting the sick

So I'm on my way to see my Nan in hospital. All I know is that when Mum asked Grandad if she should come down instead of saying "No, don't worry" as usual he said "Yes I think you probably should". I was so surprised when Mum told me that I didn't even think to as what was wrong this time.

As a consequence of course, I don't really know what to expect. I don't even know if she'll be concious or not. Hell, if the end is nigh it might even have cheered her up! I've never been to a deathbed before (if this is one) and so I fret uselessly, wondering what to do, to think. And, of course, my attempt to compose myself is in the form of this composition.

Alex and I were talking on the bus on the way in about how valuable LJ is for these times. It's not really something you could bring up for long involved discussions at the pub after all, but now there's a forum where I can share this stuff and get support without it feeling odd or unxomfortable. There's a lot of perspectives here too - some of you know me intimately, some hardly at all. Some I see every day, some I've never met.

Alex offered to come with to look after me, but my parents will be there too and I think I'll cope but he has been amazing this last week. It's been the worst for a while and he's always there for me. I couldn't ask for a better partner.

Over for now

Well, the visit was both better and worse than I feared. I started off by arriving about 20 minutes before Mum and Dad, meaning I had to make slightly stilted chitchat with Grandad for a little. He wasn't doing that well himself having got a chest infection and not realised that his inhaler had run out yesterday so he was very wheezy. Mum and Dad arrived at nearly the same time as the community nurse who reassured us that his new meds hadn't quite kicked in yet and promised to pop in tomorrow.

It turned out that visiting hours in Nan's new ward didn't start until 3:30 so we stayed with Grandad for lunch and chatted and fussed the dogs until it was time to head to the hospital. Nan herself didn't seem in pain when we saw her, just very tired and frail. Aparently they "nearly lost her" on Thursday but she's stable now, if not well enough to go home. They're not really sure of what caused her to collapse but they're varying her meds and investigating. She said that when they were calling to her while she was coming round she wished that she could just stay gone where it was peaceful.

When I mentioned a plan for April she said she didn't expect to see it and when Mum demurred she responded "I hope not, love. I'm fed up of this". For her sake, I hope not too. She deserves to rest.