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September 11th, 2002
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September 11th, 2002 10:21 amWell, not a desperately good start to the detox yesterday. I did fine at work - 1 cup of tea to wake me up and then a lot of water - and at home - no cheese on pasta, didn't drain the salad dressing, no wine with dinner, 1 cup of tea - but then I went to the fair with Alex. And they had fresh doughnuts which I am now addicted too after Truck so I had 1 and a half with Alex. And stole some of his chips. And had some of his vanilla fudge/coconut ice thing. And then in the pub I had 1 glass of wine (fine) but then was thinking about not having alcohol so had a diet coke and another cup of tea, completely blowing out the caffeine thing. That was completely innocent though - it wasn't till I got the tea that I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to be avoiding caffeine as well - so it's not really so naughty as the snacking.
Tonight is dinner with Mike and Bleurina. I'm going to stick to one glass of wine and save one of my cups of tea for after dinner coffees. I'm cooking something fairly healthy so that should be OK. Mikes bringing dessert - I'm going to have one slice/portion and then not pick. I'm also going to send any leftovers home with Alex for his housemates. Should be easier because it's more under my control.
Tonight is dinner with Mike and Bleurina. I'm going to stick to one glass of wine and save one of my cups of tea for after dinner coffees. I'm cooking something fairly healthy so that should be OK. Mikes bringing dessert - I'm going to have one slice/portion and then not pick. I'm also going to send any leftovers home with Alex for his housemates. Should be easier because it's more under my control.
What words to you find offensive? I found myself involved in a lively debate at the weekend over whether words are ever offensive in and of themselves. It was triggered by the case a month or so back of the hospital administrator who was forced to resign after likening the disappearance of her committee during the coffee break to the novel "10 little niggers". Some committee members who were black took offence. Now to me, that remark seems completely innocent. She wasn't particularly referring to the black members of the committee, she was making a light parallel between the situation and that in a novel which happened to include the word niggers in the title (and in fact doesn't include any black people in the book as I remember it - the title was from an older nursery rhyme). She wasn't intending to cause offence. When she realised that some people had taken it the wrong way, she apologised. But she still had to resign.
The discussion moved on to more general issues. My mother is apparently always offended by the word fuck. To me, fuck has almost no impact at all in most situations. When I say "Oh for fucks sake" it's often more or less equivalent to "I'm extremely exasperated by this". And sometimes I'll use the word in situations where I'm very pissed off. But surely it's only offensive if I'm saying it with intent to offend. If Alex tickles me I might well call him a bastard which is, in my mind, entirely different to when I shout "Bastard!" at someone who's just cut me up on the road.
I find myself in a similar situation with regards to blasphemy. When someone groans "Oh God!" it doesn't particularly bother me. In general, they aren't intending to actually invoke God anyway - it's just a reflex thing. But when OUSFG are trying to come up with the most blasphemous swearword they can think of I do find that offensive. Because it's their intent to offend/be blasphemous.
Of course this doesn't mean that you don't try to take other peoples sensibilities into account. But maybe if the other person genuinely didn't realise that you would be offended and then apologises, you should be expected to accept that. What do you think?
The discussion moved on to more general issues. My mother is apparently always offended by the word fuck. To me, fuck has almost no impact at all in most situations. When I say "Oh for fucks sake" it's often more or less equivalent to "I'm extremely exasperated by this". And sometimes I'll use the word in situations where I'm very pissed off. But surely it's only offensive if I'm saying it with intent to offend. If Alex tickles me I might well call him a bastard which is, in my mind, entirely different to when I shout "Bastard!" at someone who's just cut me up on the road.
I find myself in a similar situation with regards to blasphemy. When someone groans "Oh God!" it doesn't particularly bother me. In general, they aren't intending to actually invoke God anyway - it's just a reflex thing. But when OUSFG are trying to come up with the most blasphemous swearword they can think of I do find that offensive. Because it's their intent to offend/be blasphemous.
Of course this doesn't mean that you don't try to take other peoples sensibilities into account. But maybe if the other person genuinely didn't realise that you would be offended and then apologises, you should be expected to accept that. What do you think?
