Revelation

I've been thinking about my dieting lately. Or rather, my lack of dieting. I just can't seem to get my will power going in the same way I could say a year ago. And wondering why that is, I've come to a disturbing conclusion.

I'm not depressed enough to diet.

When living in London, dieting was fairly easy because a) I almost never went out and b) I was depressed and was able to channel this into obsessing about my shape which gave me the determination to diet. Even when I was living in London and working in Oxford the whole commuting thing seemed to bring me down enough to do a bit of dieting (although those of you who were reading my daily points count will realise that it wasn't very efficient).

Now, on the other hand, I've got loads to do (to the extent that I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at realising that I have 3 whole quiet days in this week) and everything else in my life is going well and I realise that I'm actually pretty pleased with the way I look most of the time. Sometimes I feel like I'd *like* to look a bit slimmer for various aesthetic reasons but I'm not actually worried enough to be unhappy about it which seems to mean that I'm not going to manage to do anything about it. The only weight goal I seem to be able to stick to is to stay under 12 stone so that when I get my injection they'll do it in my bum and not into my arm (which hurts much more).

I'm not quite sure whether I'm pleased or not. On the one hand, it doesn't bode well for my chances of actually getting any slimmer but on the other it probably shows that I'm more balanced than I thought or something. Who can say