tinyjo | My Weekend

Was pretty poo actually.

Should have started off quite well - went over to Wood St on Friday to make CDs of a couple of things. Realized this was going to take a while and went to get some food from the machines. Got tuna fish sarnie and went back to CD writer. By the time CDs written and me back in my office am starting to feel a little queezy. Manage to sit through rest of afternoon. Don't get anything done as am distracted by gurgling sensations from below. Go home on bus. Journey from hell. Get home. Lie down for a bit. Alex busy with housemates again but Jeremy invites me round. Decide I really want company and go over. Vomit in Jeremy's sink. Initially feel a lot better but after a while, not so much. Play Cheapass Games. Alex finally turns up. Am too tired to deal with him. Go home and hug.

Make Alex get up first for a change and make me tea and bread and honey - think continued gurgling now hunger as no nutrition absorbed yesterday. Get up and have lunch. Still gurgly. Try to go to Lord of the Rings but sold out. Am going to go home but Alex looks really low so go to Starbucks to try to cheer him up a bit. Do love him just find it frustrating coming second to his housemates which is making it difficult for me to be as supportive as I should. Agree with him to book long weekend of private time in the not-too-distant future. Still feeling yucky. Go home. Have still got squits. Read. Have early night.

Wake up. Stay in bed reading for ages. Get up and have lunch. Read more. Make dinner (v. engrossing book). Can hardly manage all of dinner. Still have squits. Bugger. Alex rings me up and tells me that Tanaqui (strange mad friend) has decided that she would quite like to make up 2 yr disagreement. Decide am agreeable to this. Faint dither about whether to go now and get it off her mind or wait till things are calmer (she's not supposed to be excited too much atm). Decide to go now as was thinking about going out to OUSFG anyway. Finish book. Am chatted up by taxi driver on way over. Get to OUSFG. Have talk with Tanaqui. Agree to put whole thing behind us and try again. She quotes poetry at me and seems twitchy - must be the manic phase. Chat with Mike and Niall and co. Get lift home with Angharad. Sleep.

Am not quite sure what to make of it all really. Am both annoyed with and very worried about Alex which produces an emotional conflict between wanting to bitch at him and cheer him up/look after him which leads to me doing neither in a messy and unrewarding way. Whole Tanaqui thing feels strange/sudden although definitely good thing - just need time to adjust to it I think.

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Hope you're better now. Sounds like you were poisoned by the tuna sandwich, you should complain to Catering.

Have sent them a feedback form so we'll see what they say - in the meantime, check the use-by-date before you eat!

I just don't eat anything out of those machines unless it's crisps or sweeties. And I'm eating fewer of those now that we have to pay for it (which is definitely a good thing!).

The Evian is 60p now, and it's only 45p in Tescos! It's 59p for 1.5l in Markies!

It is pretty pricey isn't it. Unfortunatly I was in a hurry :( I wondered if now that they're chargeing (a lot) and there's fewer people in Wood St altogther that meant that some things were sitting in the machines longer and hence going over. Which will become circular as I certainly won't be having anything out of there again :)

This may seem a cheap shot, but I'm genuinely interested: if you thought I was worried about Archie because his preoccupation was jeopardising his job, and hence his ability to pay rent, would you feel less left out than now, when you know that my primary concern is for his emotional well-being?

I do hope you're not really feeling like you're coming second. I have, after all, dropped everything on more than one occasion in the last week to see you. However, I'm know I'm not being the best company because I am worried about Archie, and I fear I've made the tension between my desire to stay at home so I can help and my desire to see you (for both our sakes) rather too apparent when making arrangements. I feel like I'm engaging in emotional blackmail at times, though I do my best not to. I am really sorry, and as the situation on the home front improves, as it seems to be, I hope that I can make things up to you.

Oh fuck. Rereading that last comment, it looks horribly like a round of one of those sniping, emotional, Jerry Springer-esque LJ relationshipships/public arguments that the accursed 'Random' function occasionally disgorges across one's bored, titlation-seeking mind. In two minds whether to delete it now. I assume, however, that you'll have already had it emailed to you, and it would look even worse if you went to reply to it and it had gone. So I'll type this instead, unsure of what I hope to achieve by it.

Love you, A.

Ah, I think that that was probably it.

Love you too. As said in reply to

jinty, whole thing probably came across as more bitchy than intended.

See you tonight :)

Odd feeling to be reading such intimate issues at such a distance -- things that I might or might not hear about, even (or especially) down the pub at CBS.

First off, sorry to hear you had such a nasty weekend on the tummy front. As it were. It just makes you feel so low and vulnerable and everything feels that much sharper and spikier.

Don't know anything about two-year disagreement between you & Tanaqui (but she was intense and twitchy at me at New Year's so I have a mental image of how that might have gone). Also not in a position to comment on you/Alex/coming second to housemates. However, see above on the 'everything feels that much sharper and spikier' front. (Will shut up now.)

Thinking of you, anyhoo.

I know what you mean re: sharper and spikier. I think this is also an effect of writing/speaking my feelings - they come across as stronger or more definite some how than they are in my head. Despite this though, it does feel cathartic to get it down somehow even if its not always (or even often) an entirely accurate representation. Don't worry about me - things here are not going too bad. Now I've finally got rid of the squits they're even looking up :)

That's what happens with writing, I guess -- I've never found a way around it myself either. Many's the time I've written stuff in BAPA and found people sending me concerned letters as a result, when really the act of writing itself has helped matters a lot, and it wasn't even as desperate as it sounded anyway.

I guess the shoe's on the other foot now I've done that to someone else!

All kind thoughts sincerely appreciated though - as always :)

I was worried about you when you'd gone, you seemed kind of wan. I recommend live beer for persistant won't-go-away stomach rubbish. Or if you're feeling healthier, those big live yoghurt pots with grains and live cultures and all manner of goodness inside. Maybe it'd take the edge of the bother of being stuck at work with nothing but the wrong snack food ;)

(The theory being that if your stomach can't sort its own bacteria out, you're just going to pound it with more live bacteria until it does.)

Glad to hear T finally sorted out with you; social groups aren't big enough to put up with irrational fights, though I seem quite unusual in believing this. This is I guess kind of a good sign; and I think you did the right thing in letting her get it out of the way, as if you'd not she'd probably have got just as excited worrying about it.

All the best,

Jrmy

Yeah - I figured in the end it would be better to have it off her mind and mine.

As to the other, another occasion where it would be helpful if I liked beer :) Fortunatly (touch wood and fingers crossed) it seems to have finally cleared up again now although if last night is anything to go by then it has left me with a significant decrease in appetite - probably a good thing. Maybe only 1/2 a packet of crisps tonight... :)

My Weekend

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Not wishing to get in the middle of this as such...

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I'm glad the rest of the weekend went better than Friday

Re: I'm glad the rest of the weekend went better than Friday