tinyjo: (blue-woman)
Emptied of expectation. Relax. ([personal profile] tinyjo) wrote2004-02-11 02:26 pm

End of the day

Mrs Irene Margaret Lacey, my Nan, passed away last night at about 12:30

Yesterday they discovered that the cause of her problem was a bowel obstruction which would require emergency surgery to remove. However, they also discovered that her kidneys were failing and she couldn't have any surgery in that condition. After some work on stabilizing her there was consultation between her, the doctors, my aunt and Grandad and it was decided that instead of continuing to exert themselves she should be made comfortable and things let take their course. My Mum and Dad were able to make it down to London in time to see her again, which I'm relieved about for Mums sake.

Althought this was in many ways completely expected, I find it occupying my thoughts to a much greater extent than I had anticipated. My mind swarms with rememberances of their annual summer visit to us, of the time I spent living with them when I first came to London, of all sorts of visits and meetings. Even though we knew it was coming, it's hard to get my head around the idea that she's really gone this time, that this is it. Based on my only past experience (when Mum's best friend died) it won't really hit me properly until the funeral, where I'll end up in tears.

It's not something I feel grief about - she herself said that she wanted it - but I am sad, mournful I suppose. I'm concerned for my Grandad, who'll be living on his own now, and for my Mum, although I suspect that she too won't be upset but almost relieved in a way. It's almost over, for all of us. Alex has offered to come with me to the funeral (which I guess will probably be early next week) and then we'll say goodbye.

So sorry

[identity profile] vinaigrettegirl.livejournal.com 2004-02-11 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
Well, I'm having a small cry for you all; especially for your mother and your grandfather. You'll come into your own in the months to come when all the immediate kerfuffle has passed; you'll be needed. What a lovely name she had! And what good memories to have in such abundance.

I hope the funeral is as celebratory of the good lady's life as possible [and if there are hymns, double-check that the Revver gets the right tunes! One of my best mate's mother's funeral was really set off-pace by the 'right' words and 'wrong' tune...;-)]. God bless, again.

[identity profile] shepline.livejournal.com 2004-02-11 06:40 am (UTC)(link)
My commiserations to you. Keep those memories close to you, they are important. It does sound though from what you've said here and earlier that it was one of those occasions where although you feel sad, there is also a sense of relief.

[identity profile] zoo-music-girl.livejournal.com 2004-02-11 06:46 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry for your loss. When my Gran went it was very much expected and after she'd suffered from Alzheimer's for years definitely a relief, but it was still strange to know that she'd really gone for good. I know how you feel. *hugs*
ext_36163: (unfocussed)

sympathies, my dear

[identity profile] cleanskies.livejournal.com 2004-02-11 07:02 am (UTC)(link)
take some time off to work through the memories.

Wishing there was more I could say

[identity profile] morgannalefey.livejournal.com 2004-02-11 07:56 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not very good at this sort of thing, but I just wanted to you to know that I'm holding you in my thoughts.

[identity profile] mr-snips.livejournal.com 2004-02-11 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
My sympathies.

wish i could say more

[identity profile] angelsk.livejournal.com 2004-02-11 08:43 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs*

my thoughts are with you

My condolences

[identity profile] applez.livejournal.com 2004-02-11 08:50 am (UTC)(link)
These passings never come easy - whether expected or not.

I suspect your grandfather is going to need a lot of support in the coming weeks - to clear up pent up thoughts and emotions, to let go. In a few months'/years' time ... it might be advisable to gift him a cruiseship trip or something fresh and renewing.

My own grandfather was incorrigible, badly off, then adventerous after his wife's passing.

Hope it goes all right for your grandad.

[identity profile] dotty.livejournal.com 2004-02-11 09:13 am (UTC)(link)
Keep an eye open, will you? Some people are hopeless without their second half. My deepest sympathy to the family.
white_hart: (Default)

[personal profile] white_hart 2004-02-11 12:23 pm (UTC)(link)
So sorry to hear that; my condolences to you and your family.

(Anonymous) 2004-02-11 02:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry to hear your news, Jo - my condolences. I hope you can find comfort in the idea that our family and friends never truly die while we continue to remember them. I was only ten when my maternal grandfather died and my memories of him are hazy, but my other three grandparents have died within the past ten years. In the short-term there was grief, but I've come to realise that more of them lives on - in my parents, my sister & I and the great-grandson who they never met - than I ever thought possible.

- Hg